The pain behind the loss

“THE harm creeps up on you — by the time you recognise it, it’s already well and truly taken hold.”

These are the words of regional South Australian resident Rebecca Healey, a single mother who has struggled with, and recovered from gambling harm.

Rebecca said her issues with gambling began by feeling a lack of personal purpose.

“As a proud ASD mumma and a single parent of a special needs child, I wasn’t in a position to work — so I started going to the pokies for something to do,” she said.

“Pre-Covid, venues offered free food and drinks and welcomed you to stay as long as you liked. It became a social outlet — a place where I could be alone without feeling completely isolated.

“At the same time, I was silently struggling with my mental health and withdrawing from family and friends. The venue felt comfortable and inviting, and I found myself going more and more often. 

“What started as a bit of fun quickly escalated. I was spending longer and longer there each day, spending money I didn’t really have, (and) before I knew it, it was affecting me emotionally, mentally, and financially. The harm creeps up on you — by the time you recognise it, it’s already well and truly taken hold.”

Rebecca said she never considered herself a person at risk from gambling harm.

“Pokies are scientifically designed to keep you playing, they work on the brain in ways most people don’t realise until they’re already caught,” she said.

“When I found myself unable to stop, I quietly blamed myself. I felt stupid, ashamed, and deeply alone — like I’d dug a hole I couldn’t get out of. 

“The shame I carried was heavy, and it took a long time before I could see my experience for what it truly was: an addiction, just like any other.”

Rebecca said the social familiarity of regional communities made it challenging to begin seeking help.

“News travels fast in small communities — everyone knows everyone,” she said.

“When I was experiencing gambling harm, the last thing I wanted was for my family, friends, or acquaintances to find out. I was already judging myself harshly, the thought of others doing the same felt unbearable.

“That fear of stigma and judgment is one of the biggest barriers to people in regional areas reaching out for help. It’s something I feel strongly about changing. 

“No one should have to suffer in silence because they’re afraid of what their community might think.”

Rebecca said accessing support services helped her regain a sense of personal control.

“The turning point came when I realised my addiction was no longer just hurting me — it was affecting the people I loved,” she said.

“The thought of losing my closest relationships because of a problem I felt powerless over was the wake-up call I needed. I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was.

“I reached out to Lifeline South East, knowing they offered financial counselling and hoping they could point me in the right direction, (and) I was fortunate to connect with a counsellor who met me without judgement and supported me every step of the way. That first phone call was the hardest part — but it was also the most important step I ever took.

“It was nothing like I feared. There was no judgement — only genuine support. My counsellor helped me build coping strategies I simply hadn’t had before, and through that process, I developed a much healthier relationship with both myself and money.”

Rebecca said available support mechanisms increase the effectiveness of gambling harm recovery in regional areas.

“Recovery is not a cure. It’s an ongoing journey,” she said. “But it is absolutely possible, and the growth on the other side is real. I’ve now come full circle — I work at Lifeline in Gambling Help services, and I hope to walk alongside others in their own recovery journeys the way someone once walked alongside me.

“Please don’t be afraid to ask for help. I know the fear of being seen or judged feels enormous — especially in a regional community — but I promise you, help is available and it comes without judgement.

“You are not alone, and you don’t have to keep suffering in silence. It all starts with a single conversation, so make the call, and take the step. Your life can look very different on the other side — I’m living proof of that.”